Cross My Heart
by BattyCore
Summary: Craig is afraid of commitment, and Tweek is afraid of Craig. T for big bad curse words, grrr! I'm really upset that this is my first uploaded Creek. T-T


_Cross My Heart_

Fucking hell.

God damn, mother fucking, shit, cock, balls, twat, hell.

Why does he do this to me?

Why do I let him do this to me?

I'm an idiot.

I'm a fucking moron.

My intelligence could be compared to that of an insect.

But I still love him.

And he's still into me.

...sometimes.

Today is worse than most days. It hurts so much more. I hate him.

No I don't.

But I want to.

I wish I could hate him. I wish I could punch him in his stupid face and tell him to go to hell. But every time he comes to me; those eyes... His perfect face.

I just can't say no.

One look from those round eyes, one bat of those long lashes, one pout of those full lips, one touch from those quaking fingers... I'm powerless.

I know he doesn't mean it. When he suddenly has that regret in his eyes; when he pulls away from me and walks away; when he leaves without a word and then I'm alone.

Today, he told me he loved me. Today he... fuck. I can't control myself. I can't hold back my fist as it smashes into the wall. My knuckles bleed onto the paint.

He thinks I hate him. But I don't. I hate myself. I hate my stupid face. My apathetic eyes, my cold touch...

That's why he does it. That's why he's so insecure. He's afraid that I'm not sincere. He's afraid of me...

I love him. I love him so much, but I act like I couldn't give two shits. It's in my blood; the Tucker genes. We don't give two shits.

But Tweek... I would give him my life. I would give him anything, but I act like I wouldn't. I don't mean to, but it's automatic. I can't help it.

He needs me to be more loving and more vocal about my affections, but I can't. That's why he does this to me.

That's why I let him to this to me. Because it's my fault.

And because I love him.

He could stab me with a knife and leave me in a hole in the ground, and I would still love him.

I was so happy...

He told me he loved me today. He told me he loved me... And what did I say?

"That's nice."

I fucking hate myself.

I want to die.

I deserve to die.

He deserves better.

He deserves a man who would say "I love you, too."

I want to tell him, but I can't.

So he leaves.

He leaves me all alone...

I wish he would take me with him.

We'd get into it. He'd kiss me with his perfect mouth and I'd feel his perfect hair. I'd undo his misplaced buttons and feel his perfect chest. He'd moan and climb on top of me. He'd grind his hips into mine and I'd grunt his name.

And then he'd open his eyes.

He'd open his eyes, and he'd look at me.

That regret...

He regrets being with me.

Every time.

And every time he leaves me.

He leaves me alone.

And every time I want to cry.

But Tuckers don't cry.

He afraid of me...

I understand.

I'm an asshole.

I hate myself...

I really hate myself...

If only I could prove to him that I love him.

Today he told me he loves me...

Fuck.

* * *

><p><strong>This turned out differently than I wanted, and I didn't like it, so I gave up. I've been really shitty lately. :**

**Aside from my mental state, I can't listen to music lately without the song bringing a Creek plot to mind. So I have like 800 stories in mine from listening to my iPod. xD**

**This one was inspired my Cross My Heart by Mariana's Trench. What I wanted: Tweek is bipolar and doesn't know what he wants. Craig is madly in love with him, but he's an asshole so Tweek doesn't know how deep his feelings run. Tweek always gets nervous and bails on Craig. Craig cracks one day and tells Tweek how much he needs him. Tweek gets all flitty and there's a happily ever after.**

**That's clearly not how this story turned out. T^T**

**I might mark this as a preview or something and actually write the good story later because this was intended to be way longer, possibly with many chapters. My brain just hurts and I'm totally, completely exhausted.**

**Craig's an emo bitch. xD**

**...maybe I'm the emo bitch... ):**

**I wrote this a few days ago, and I never really went back to edit it, so I'm sorry if it's lame. d:**


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